Category Archives: Emailed Update

Stop Waiting. Start Doing.

What is God’s plan for me?
What did God create me to do?
What am I most passionate about?
What is that one thing that weighs heaviest on my heart, that I want to devote my life to?

IMG_4343These are all questions I pondered through college, and the days immediately following. As the days ticked by and this daunting concept called “The Rest of My Life” closed in, there was a voice that whispered in my head, Faith, you have to find these answers. Your whole life depends on them.

This past summer I was reflecting on all that God has done over the past two years since I arrived in Indonesia, and I had a stark revelation: I had already begun “The Rest of My Life”. Panic!!! No!!! I don’t have the answers to my questions yet!!!! What if I could be doing more? What if there is a cause I am more passionate about? What if I could be more strategic with my life?

But somewhere in the midst of my freakout I remembered an encounter I had with God last January. As language school came to a close, I had really been grappling with and wrestling with what my role would be here in Indonesia. I had a list of 50+ ideas, but no clarity about which direction to go. God spoke:

Stop thinking. Stop waiting. Start doing.

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It’s such a lie that we have to have ourselves, our strategy, and our plan totally figured out before we can begin “The Rest of Our Lives”. That “voice” that demanded answers was not the voice of the Spirit. But there is a Voice that says Jump off the cliff. Dare to dream. Take action. Be a part of what I’m doing in humanity. And trust Me for the parachute.

My team leader Paul writes about this in his book A Certain Risk:

God is moving across the earth in search of men and women who will dare to take the leap of faith. He is offering us the chance to rise up and actuate his dreams for our generation. You and I were born into days of adversity stirred together with unprecedented opportunity. The signs are everywhere. Our times distinguish individuals who live their faith at the edge from those who shrink back. Does your soul cry out for a faith that sets you free to voyage into the depths of God’s dreams? Do you crave a faith that drenches you with hope and breaks open the floodgates of God’s movements through you? The words on the pages ahead are written for you. Will you stare down a certain risk and take the jump? Who knows? God might be waiting on the other side.

Training teachers?? This was never even on my list of possibilities of “Things I might want to do with my life.” But I was made for this. There’s nothing more fun or fulfilling than jumping into God’s dreams and being a part of what He is accomplishing.

Stop thinking. Stop waiting. Start doing.

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Opportunities

IMG_3926Ati’s mother and sister passed away years ago. Her father deserted her. Living in a dorm with other high schoolers, Ati had all the potential in the world, but no opportunity.

6 days a week Tirta bounded through the jungle sleeping under rocks and living off of the land. Once a week he returned home for a shower. Tirta had all the potential in the world, but no opportunity.

Indah’s parents told her she was stupid and that she would never make anything of her life. The reality was that Indah had all the potential in the world, but no opportunity.

Dian dove into the river to catch some fish for dinner. He too was told by his family that he was the stupidest of his brothers. Dian had all the potential in the world, but no opportunity.

Students who once had no opportunity are coming from all over the country to join our brand new teacher training program. In four short years, these students will be sent back to their villages equipped to teach and build schools that spread God’s love to children.

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What’s Next

I am so excited about all that is happening here in Southeast Asia and I am honored to be a part of it all. I can’t believe that my 2 year commitment to serve here is already coming to a close. I will be coming back to the US in early April and I cannot wait to see you all and touch base with many of you.

IMG_4063By God’s grace I have been given the opportunity to extend my time here in Southeast Asia. I feel as if my work is only beginning, God is preparing great things for the future of this country and I have the opportunity to be a part of it. Following three months in the US, I will be returning to Southeast Asia with an indefinite commitment. Each one of you has been an important part of my journey, and an important contribution to God’s work here in Southeast Asia. Would you pray about continuing this journey with me?

I will see you soon! Looking forward to enjoying time with many of you.

I Can’t Help but Love Them

Her eyes were wide as she glanced over at me.  “I’m nervous,” she said. “About what?” I asked. “I have to lead the activity tonight,” she replied. I smiled and my heart couldn’t help but overflow with love for this sister of mine. Ezia is the future of this country. She’s one of our 8 university students that we are training to become, creative, innovative, phenomenal teachers. I can’t help but love her.

Jon laughs boisterously in the corner as he strums his guitar. Orphaned at a young age, he has figured out how to survive in this world on his own. He has finally found a home here, and I can’t help but love him.

Priza sits quietly and listens carefully. Her small stature is deceiving, for her heart is big and overflows with love for those around her. Her words are chosen carefully, but when she does speak, wisdom and gentleness reverberate from her heart. I can’t help but love her.

Nathan makes a face each time I enter the room. I know he hopes I will make a face in return, so we can erupt in laughter together. I do, and as we laugh, I can’t help but love him, as his smile spreads wide across his face.

“Soooooo sweeeet,” Rachel says to me. It’s her favorite English phrase. Immediately her laughter fills the air and I find myself reaching over to embrace her. I can’t help but love her.

What a privilege it is for me to live with these 8 teachers-in-training as they have dug their way into my heart. We laugh, cry, share, eat, play soccer, study and live life together. Many of them have been through circumstances beyond my imagination: loss of parents, rejection from family, poverty, and some being told that they are not smart enough or not good enough to make anything of their lives. But when I wake up to their beautiful faces each day, I find that their joy has permeated the grief, and God has truly captured their souls. I just can’t help but love them.

Movement Initiators

I’ve been living in this dorm for 6 months now. When I first moved in, there were 4 university students participating in the pilot program of our new Teacher Training Center. We have already doubled and now have 8 students in the program. The vision is to train nationals to be innovative teachers that transform the education system in this country and empower the next generation of leaders. Our hope is that the students who graduate from our schools penetrate the various domains of their society: medicine, education, arts, media, technology, church and government, with strong leadership, creative ideas, and transformational values.

Just the other day I heard someone describe Jesus as a “Movement Initiator”. Jesus was socially active in His community. He compassionately healed people. He fervently spoke truth into people’s lives. Jesus couldn’t help but love every single person he encountered, and this love initiated a movement. I am literally shaking with excitement as I think about this next generation of movement initiators God is raising up to be the future leaders of this country. Will you join me in praying for them?

 

Just Jump

Her eyes widened dramatically. “What??” she said. “Yes, plans have changed,” I replied.

We took 33 ninth graders up to a small village in the mountains on a short term m-trip. Just two weeks earlier we had broken them up into groups and told them, “You will teach 7th or 8th graders for 50 minutes. Create the most creative, imaginative lesson you can think of. See you in two weeks!” My students went to work. Resolved to create the best possible lesson they could conjure, they toiled and poured their hearts and souls into the assignment.

We made it up to the village school and the students prepared to give their lessons. “Are we teaching 7th or 8th grade?” one girl begged to know. But plans had changed, as they often do. “Eleventh grade,” I said to her. Her eyes widened dramatically. “What??” she said. “Yes, plans have changed,” I replied. These ninth graders had already taught me so much, so even though the eleventh graders would be older than them, I had no doubt they would do a great job.

“You can do it,” I said, “I know you can.” “Ok,” she said, “we’ll do it.” I stood back and watched my students excel. Their lessons were creative. The students they taught were captivated. And most of all, they loved. They loved each other, they loved their new friends. I was beaming with pride and humbled to be called their teacher.

I think my eyes frequently widen when God puts a seemingly impossible task in front of me. “What??” I say. But just as I took pleasure in the courage of my students, I think God finds that same pleasure in us when we fearlessly jump into the seemingly impossible tasks He gives us.

I was brought back to memories of my 18th birthday. My best friend and I jumped out of an airplane. It’s counterintuitive. It doesn’t make sense. And it’s pretty scary. But once I jumped out of that plane, all of my fears were released. Peace swept over me. I was exhilarated. Ironically, no one ever dies from jumping out of an airplane. People who die while skydiving do so when they hit the ground, not when they are suspended in mid air. Strange, then, that I felt relieved while I was still in mid air, despite the fact that possible danger was still to come. But I had completed the step of faith that was required of me. I was in the hands of God now.

“How did you feel teaching students who were older than you?” I asked my ninth graders. “It was scary at first,” they said, “but it was really great!” God honors our leaps of faith. He joys in our risk-taking and our courage to try something counterintuitive. And then He carries us. We just have to jump.

These past two months have provided many opportunities for new experiences. Read about recent developments in The Nit-Grit: Smiles and Sweat, check out new photos on the photos page, and be sure to read through the full list of prayer requests on my prayer & praise page. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

Sunday is Coming

I was 9 years old. It was Good Friday, and part of the day’s required activities included periodical Bible readings from the crucifixion story. I had heard the story dozens of times but it had never truly permeated my soul. I remember tears running down my face as my mom read the narrative of Christ’s gruesome crucifixion. Why did he have to die? Why did they kill him? New life had been brought to this story of old. I felt for the first time as if I were there. The intensity of the moment of Jesus’ death penetrated my heart. Even though I knew the end of the story, I was suddenly able to comprehend the emotion felt on that dreadful day. I sobbed. I grieved. An intense hunger for Sunday stirred within me. Please let it be true. Please, let him come back to life! But I would have to wait. Today is only Friday.

I can imagine how the disciples felt on Saturday. They awoke to life that had been shattered to pieces. Hope for salvation had died. Yesterday they shamelessly left everything to follow a man that was to save their people. Today that man was dead. People had accused them of craziness for their life of complete surrender, and it dawned on them that perhaps people were right. They hid in fear for their lives while grieving the loss of their leader. Life was chaotic and confusing. Questions. Doubts. Darkness. Hopelessness. This was not what they had signed up for. Jesus was supposed to lead them to new life, justice and victory. Now all that remained was loneliness and desolation.

Perhaps you have lived in this darkness. Perhaps you have experienced the pain of loss, the grief of separation, the blur of confusion, the vivid sting of hopelessness. Is today Saturday? Are you wandering in a desert of loneliness and hopelessness? Do you find yourself questioning what you desperately want to believe because circumstances don’t reconcile with the message of hope you have left everything to follow?

I wait with anticipation each year for celebratory Easter Sunday. I have great memories of waking early on Easter morning, dressing into my flowery blue and white dress with my favorite lacy socks and tiptoeing down the kitchen to indulge in my mom’s famous Ukrainian Easter Bread. Oh how I love Easter Sunday. Sunday’s joy is birthed in the wake of Saturday’s grief.

Today is Saturday. Grief and despair. But there is hope, Sunday is coming.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Is this Blessing?

I looked around at the 9 new teachers we have in town for our training this month. Many come from harsh living circumstances. Some had never been on an airplane before today. A few are no longer able to live with their families. Away from their lives and everything known for a month, they crowded into this tiny house together. Is this blessing?

I peered into the eyes of my tired, worn out students. Exhaustion seemed to consume their faces as they confronted the reality of final exams coming next week. With tests, papers and projects looming over their heads, they looked like they were ready to cave. Is this blessing?

I joined the huddle of my tired, sweaty, high school girls basketball team. I dug deep within myself to find one more encouraging speech to give after a series of losses at a tournament in our home gym. With tears running down their faces and exhaustion consuming their bodies I looked at them as I struggled to find the words to say. Is this blessing?

I saw it in slow motion. The precious 3 year old girl stumbled backwards, slamming her head on the concrete. An ocean of tears exploded out of her face as she made a mad dash for her mother. Is this blessing?

I comforted a friend as tears dampen her eyes as she details her broken relationship with her family. They are of the majority religion and have rejected her because of her claim to faith. Is this blessing?

The harsh sounds of machinery once again reverberated through my classroom as I attempted to teach my students. My fading voice was no competition against the hammering of nails and the buzzing of chainsaws. Is this blessing?

“…Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)

It’s not that being poor in spirit just brings blessing. No, being poor in spirit is the blessing.

Teachers being trained to transform their communities. Students exhausted because of the incredible education they are being given. Basketball players learning the meaning of perseverance and character (they turned out winning the tournament, by the way). A little girl with the loving arms of a mother eager to embrace her. The testimony of a woman completely committed to following Jesus. The sounds of construction reverberating through my classroom as a reminder that a new teacher training center is being built on our campus. Is this blessing? Yes. This is blessing.